Finding the motivation and gumption to get up and go in the mornings during those months after Chris’s death wasn’t easy. Mornings are much more difficult for me than nights are. Waking up without him just reinforces that I am alone.
Having Katie still at home helped me tremendously because I knew she was depending on me for motivation and support as well as to meet her basic needs.
I don’t remember where this came from. It may have been inside a card or note. I typed it out, printed it and taped it to the mirror in my bathroom and literally read it aloud every morning.
Be at PeaceDo not look forward in fear to the changes of life,
Rather look to them with full hope that as they arise, God, whose very own I am, will lead me safely through all things;
and when I cannot stand, God will carry me in His loving arms.
Do not fear what may happen tomorrow;
The same everlasting Father who cares for me today will take care of me every day.
He will either shield me from suffering or will give me unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.
St. Francis de Sales
Take one day at a time or as I share with others experiencing great loss, you may have to take it one minute at a time. Take baby steps. Put one foot in front of the other. You are building up your strength and creating a new normal. It doesn’t happen overnight. Most importantly, pray often.
A friend of my mother’s gave me a devotional book when Chris died. She had received it from a friend when she lost her husband. My copy is now dog-earred with post-it notes marking especially meaningful devotions. I’ve written all in the margins as well. I put it in my car and when I arrived at work, I would sit in the car and read the devotion for the day, read the prayer provided and then added a prayer for strength to get through each minute of the day because honestly all I wanted to do was to turn around and go home.
I would text my dear friend Susan to let her know I had arrived. Some days I had to ask her to meet me at my car to walk into the building with me. I am thankful that our administration was completely supportive and helpful through weeks and months I pushed through to get to summer vacation.
Now, I pass this book along to my friends who have lost a loved one. I hope it brings them as much peace and comfort as it has brought to me.
Psalm 34:18- The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Love, Mercy, and Grace 
Beautiful!! xoxo