Month: March 2018

I attended the Good Friday service at my church tonight. I love that the service is at 7:00. It ends with everyone leaving in silence following the choir and ministers and the sun is setting as we depart. Tonight the sunset was absolutely stunning. I couldn’t get a picture so I just took it in. As I did, I reflected on the service. Our minister used the hymn “Were You There” as the focus of his homily. He discussed a variety of people who we know were there and what they did, or didn’t do. What if you were there? Who would you have been? What would you have done?

Would you have stood beside Jesus and proclaimed him as the King of the Jews? Would you have joined the mob yelling “Crucify” because you got caught up with the crowd? Would you have stood by silently crying out of fear? Would you have stepped up to wipe His brow? Would you have denied him as Judias Iscariet did? Would you have walked away so you didn’t have to watch? Would you have walked away because you didn’t care; it didn’t involve you?

I believe I would have followed him but I would have been quietly crying, not calling attention to myself.

“Were you there when they crucified my Lord?” He suffered beatings, cruelty, and death on a cross for you, so that you might have eternal life through him.

Thank you, Jim Giddens for giving me this to consider tonight.

Love, Mercy and Grace

Matthew 27:32-56 New International Version (NIV)

The Crucifixion of Jesus

32 As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross. 33 They came to a place called Golgotha (which means “the place of the skull”). 34 There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it. 35 When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. 36 And sitting down, they kept watch over him there. 37 Above his head they placed the written charge against him: this is jesus, the king of the jews.

38 Two rebels were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left. 39 Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads 40 and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days,save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!” 41 In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. 42 “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’”44 In the same way the rebels who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

The Death of Jesus

45 From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. 46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,[a] lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).[b]

47 When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling Elijah.”

48 Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. 49 The rest said, “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to save him.”

50 And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

51 At that moment the curtain of the templewas torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 52 and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 53 They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and[c]went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

54 When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”

55 Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. 56 Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph,[d] and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.

The great blue heron is a wading bird found near the coastal wetlands and marshes across North America. They are big beautiful birds and for my family a sign of Chris’s presence. I hope I didn’t scare you off with that statement.

I believe we can receive “messages” from a loved one who has departed. The idea of someone who has passed away sending a message can bring peace and comfort. It can also be a little unnerving. Others may be concerned for you when you share these messages with them. For those who cannot embrace this level of thinking and worry about friends or family who claim these experiences, I say this… If your loved one finds comfort in the idea that they have had a sign from their loved one, let it be. It doesn’t hurt anyone and it brings comfort and peace. Don’t get overly worked up about it and don’t discount it if your loved one shares their experience with you.

The signs are usually personally significant. They can relate to your relationship with your lost loved one. What you experience may be unique to you. Everyone is not going to have the same experience.

The presence of an animal may give you the sense that your loved one is with you. Many believe the appearance of a red cardinal is a visit from a loved one.

As I stated at the beginning, the appearance of a blue heron is a source of peace and comfort for us.

The blue heron became significant for us because of a story my son related after seeing one shortly after Chris died.

“It came from when Dad and I used to hunt in the woods behind the house. We had a talk about birds that you can shoot and ones you can’t, basically if they looked or sang pretty then let them be. We saw a heron and just watched it for a bit before it flew off croaking. He said “and don’t shoot those” even though they didn’t fit the rule.

We have seen blue herons at significant times in our lives- graduations, weddings, birthdays, tough days. Shortly after moving out of our home of 14 years and into my new home, I walked outside and thought a helicopter was about to crash over my head. I heard the “whoosh, thump, whoosh thump” of a granddaddy blue heron taking off from somewhere behind the house and coming overhead and across the street. I burst into tears.

Then there was the time my daughters and I were in Michigan for a soccer game. It was Meghan’s first game of the season following her dad’s death. I went for a walk along the riverfront at the hotel. I was taking pictures when a blue heron flew past me and landed along the shore. I was amazed because, at the time, I had no idea they even lived up there! It was such a gift to see him there.

Last weekend as we were running errands to prepare for P’s birthday party, a heron flew over the road.

Silly…maybe it is. A wild stretch…maybe it is. But, I will tell you that the appearance of a heron is always comforting to each of us. It’s not an everyday occurrence and when it happens there is a special significance to us.

The presence of a loved one can be revealed in other ways as well.

Visitation dreams from your loved one are powerful and very real. I remember the first one I had and it was so real. His conversation with me was so sweet and ended with a kiss on my forehead.

I have a dear friend who had a visitation dream from Chris in which he talked to her about watching our grandson,P. He said that P sees him but won’t remember it.

Being able to smell your loved one’s precious scent is comforting. I have a box of Chris’s clothes that I will occasionally open to hold and smell him again. While hugging my son one day, I could smell Chris so clearly. I held on a little too long and my son asked if I was okay. I told him he smelled just like his dad. His wife agreed that she could smell him occasionally as well. He doesn’t always smell like him, but it does happen occasionally.

Finding a penny, dime, feather or other significant small object tied to your loved one’s life on earth can make you catch your breath and think of your loved one.

Maybe these things can easily be explained away or simply called coincidences or giving meaning to something that occurs naturally. I get that, but we aren’t harming anyone. We are on a journey, the most difficult of our lives. Our faith is guiding us. If these events bring us comfort and peace, I ask that you allow us to experience without judging us as losing touch with reality. It’s actually helping us deal with the reality of a difficult loss.

In terms of loss, grief and healing the days are long but the years are short. It’s hard to believe that Chris has been gone for 6 years and that last Saturday was my grandson’s first birthday! I can’t believe that it’s been a year since he arrived bringing joy beyond this world. He is my heart. He is just the cutest and sweetest little boy ever. (Said every grandparent everywhere!)

P was born on the same day as the memorial service for Chris was held just five years earlier.

Have you ever just felt God’s hand reach out and touch you? I have. All praise and glory to His name.

When we found out P’s due date of February 23rd, I took a deep breath. I thought, for just a second… How would we ever truly celebrate his birthday when that is the week of Chris’s death and our deepest mourning?

And, that thought passed and I was breathing again. This is His doing. What are the chances that this “just happened”? No, this was His plan laid out for us. He wanted to bring us up from the depths of our grief to celebrate life and what would be more perfect than the arrival of a child! It had been five years and we were to change the dread of the week to joy.

The same week P was due to arrive last year, we celebrated the marriage of one of my sweet nieces at beautiful Boone Hill Plantation. Celebrating Chris’s life with his death, the promise of new life with P’s arrival, and the promise of an everlasting love with M’s wedding. God’s hand.

Our focus on P’s arrival and M’s wedding last year didn’t keep us from remembering Chris. We do that every day. What it did provide for us was a break from thinking about that awful week of our life twenty-four hours a day for seven days. The week starts with those memories and at the end of it we find ourselves celebrating life and love.

So…..

I’ll carry you in my heart always, Chris!

Happy Birthday, P!

Happy Anniversary, M & J!