Every Holiday without Him is Hard- yes, even Halloweeno

The anticipation and preparation leading up to the holiday is different now. Of course, a large part of that comes from the empty nest syndrome I’m in all by myself. I do recognize that.

I will admit Halloween was not a holiday I looked forward to very much, even when the children were little.I was a teacher at that time and by the time I had managed to survive a day with elementary school children on Halloween, I didn’t have much left in me for the excitement level to match my own children’s. I was exhausted, but as soon as we walked through the doors of the house, we went full speed ahead to eat some pizza and get dressed.

Remember, prior to the actual day of the event there were days of costume preparation taking place- the decision on what to be, how to execute it, purchasing the supplies, and actually putting the costume together. Okay, I admit to purchasing some ready made costumes to make my work a little less stressful.

Back to the day of…Once I had managed to get everyone dressed and happy, it was Chris’s turn. Most years he walked the kids around without me. I would go to the first couple of houses and then retreat back home to hand out the candy. He was a lifesaver! On those rare Halloweens that occurred on Saturday, I actually enjoyed the festivities! Once my son was too old to participate, I let him hand out the candy and Chris and I walked with our friends while the kiddos ran ahead of us. That was a fun time.

The memories have been running through my head all day- Halloween with the church group at The Landings, the first Trick or Treat for each child, the fun costumes, the laughter, and Chris scaring the kids.

Those days are long gone but I have been pretty blue today and I’m not really into the whole scene this year. I don’t have enough candy- because I’ve eaten most of it. My house isn’t decorated outside at all because I just haven’t made time to do it. My front entrance is clogged with bags and boxes that I dropped there when I unloaded my car yesterday from my week out of town. Tucker won’t be finished with the groomer until at least 5:00. I told her not to rush. We weren’t going anywhere.

Maybe I’ll just sit in a chair out front with my candy basket and pass out candy til it’s gone! I should at least oooo and ahhhh over some costumes, right?!

I wish Chris were here to motivate me, to laugh with me, have a glass of wine and some candy with me; but he’s not. I’m alone. It’s hard to be alone. It’s hard to be one. There’s not an easy fix. I am working on it and know that God is pointing me to the path He wants me to take. It’s been 7 Halloweens and I still struggle with what to do with myself. I’ve given it to God and thankfully He gets me through these tough spots. I spent most of today with my sweet miniature horses, getting them ready for their first outting this Sunday.

I look forward to seeing everyone else’s pictures tonight and vicariously sharing your joy. Have fun and treasure today and the memories you’re making.