There have been, and truthfully still are, no words. No words for the loss of my amazingly kind, funny, and loving son-in-law, Robbie. So, I haven’t posted anything anywhere because I simply haven’t known what to say. Today I know one word: love.
The love of God who has surrounded us with His peace.
The love of family and friends who have shown up from around town and across the states to share their personal sorrow at the loss of Robbie in their lives and who shared stories and laughed and cried with us.
The love of family and friends who didn’t know Robbie well but know and love us and have given comforting hugs, and have brought us food, supplies, and drinks.
There’s the love of people who just show up and do things.
The love of people who who sent beautiful flowers to surround us yesterday.
All of this has been overwhelming and a testament to the impact Robbie made in the lives of those he met during his short time here on earth with us. We’d like to thank each of you for loving Robbie and loving us.
Then there’s the love between Robbie and Katie.If you didn’t know or believe in the trueness of their love for one another, all you had to do was be around them for a few minutes. Even better, look at pictures of the two of them.
Theirs is a love story for all time. They were two people who each had broken pieces, were able to help the other heal and then grew stronger together as a couple. Their bond to one another was strengthened by their faith in God. They believed in one another and their love when others, including family members, doubted.
I’ll never forget the day we met one another. I was fired up and ready to have a go at this man who was 20 plus years older than my 20 year old daughter he was dating. I did take a Xanax to hopefully avoid an arrest for assault and battery. I wanted so badly not to like this man. I wanted to be able to tell him I couldn’t support this dating situation. If you haven’t figured it out by now, that’s not exactly how the meeting went down.
He was definitely anxious about meeting me. It went exactly opposite of how I’d imagined! I was the sweet, filled with southern grace mom I was raised to be. I left having basically given them my blessing! What happened?!?! Robert Nathan Wilkinson happened!
I watched them like a hawk still holding reservations about this relationship. Six months passed and I saw positive changes in Katie. She was having fun again. She was laughing and sharing stories. Robbie came around often. They were sharing more and more time together and I was liking him more and more. They came over and had dinner with me or we’d go out to eat at least once a week. It eventually became a Friday night event. Going to the barn was our Saturday/Sunday morning activity. He enjoyed the horses. He was great with the bigs and the minis. He worked really hard cleaning and helping out over there. He was the “Minis 2 Love Head Groundskeeper”. He eagerly offered to help out around the house, even fixed a faucet!
Robbie loved Katie with all his heart. He took care of her. He accepted her. He worried about her. He wanted the best for her. He protected her. He encouraged her. He supported her emotionally. He made her happy.
Katie loved Robbie with all her heart. She was able to share her sorrow over the loss of her father with him. She took care of him. She was compassionate. She listened to his work stories. She encouraged him. She accepted him. She made him happy. (I’ve heard that statement so many times in these last six days.)
Yep! All the things you look for in a relationship! They had that and more.
Approximately a year after that first meeting, in the early days of December, 2018, I received a phone call from Robbie asking me to meet him at the church. I knew this was it! He was going to ask for permission to marry Katie. And in the memorial garden where Chris’s ashes are laid to rest, he said that he loved her with all of his heart and soul and then asked if he could have her hand in marriage. I said, “Yes”.
He was everything to my Katie. Now, he is in heaven, way too soon, and she is left heartbroken. She isn’t alone in that. Vickie had to bury her son. No parent should ever have to do that. It isn’t right. His brother, Chuck, and his family have lost a brother and uncle who was absolutely #1 in their hearts. Katie’s brother and sisters and I hurt because we will miss his presence in our home. His friends are hurting, too.
Rob, or Robbie, as he was called by his family and closest friends, lit up a room when he entered. His smile and laughter was infectious. His one-liners and accents could lay you on the floor laughing. (Think Todd Chrisley) His sense of humor and love of life was larger than life itself. He loved big. He gave big. He was kind and gentle. He wrapped you up in a hug to welcome you or say goodbye and when he gave you one because you were sad, it made everything better.
He loved animals almost as much as Katie did. We fondly called him the “horse whisperer” at barn. The horses loved him. He had conversations with them. They were calm and quiet around him. He purchased his heart horse less than a month ago. He fell in love with Cloud the day he met him several years ago. Ms Debbie put him up for sale last month and Robbie said he was taking out a loan and getting him. And he did. He will be Katie’s horse now. She will love him and work with him and ride him till the end of their days. Jameson, their black lab, is missing him. Oh how they loved each other! He was Katie’s dog before they met and then he was Robbie’s. Lol! My Tucker loved him as well. I was chopped liver to him when Robbie was here. Katie and Robbie ran a segment on a rescue dogs transport to a new home.
No one will ever say, “Ms Julie” to me the way he did. He was the perfect man for Katie. He was all a parent could/would ever want for their child in a relationship and marriage. He would do anything for her, including a trip to a Florida safari where she could hold a sloth for thirty minutes. She thought he hung the moon and he would have given it to her. Best friends- through good and bad- love- pure love.
Katie will finish school and graduate in December because he required that of her. It was a promise he made me when they were dating and when they were engaged. She will finish school. She will even walk across that stage, that she swore she wouldn’t do, because he wanted her to. (She was caught in the change from ASU to GSU @ Armstrong. She is not a GS student and hates that it will be on her diploma as such.)
The funeral service for Robbie was perfect. We sang two of his favorite hymns. I struggled but I sang out because Robbie loved singing hymns. Darryl “Bubba” spoke. David prayed. Rev. Bishop preached “The Word” and touched us all. We will put our trust in God and begin the journey of healing. God will guide us in the direction we should go from here. We will grieve profoundly because the love was profound.
Bear with us. Pray for us. Hold us in your thoughts. Most of all, live your life well. You never know when your time is up. Robbie did know Monday was his last day but he lived it fully as he did every day. He wasn’t ready to leave his family, his wife, his friends, his life, but he was right with God. And God welcomed him to his heavenly home with the words, “ Job well done, my son.”
Love, Mercy, and Grace 