Finding Comfort in the Little Things

The great blue heron is a wading bird found near the coastal wetlands and marshes across North America. They are big beautiful birds and for my family a sign of Chris’s presence. I hope I didn’t scare you off with that statement.

I believe we can receive “messages” from a loved one who has departed. The idea of someone who has passed away sending a message can bring peace and comfort. It can also be a little unnerving. Others may be concerned for you when you share these messages with them. For those who cannot embrace this level of thinking and worry about friends or family who claim these experiences, I say this… If your loved one finds comfort in the idea that they have had a sign from their loved one, let it be. It doesn’t hurt anyone and it brings comfort and peace. Don’t get overly worked up about it and don’t discount it if your loved one shares their experience with you.

The signs are usually personally significant. They can relate to your relationship with your lost loved one. What you experience may be unique to you. Everyone is not going to have the same experience.

The presence of an animal may give you the sense that your loved one is with you. Many believe the appearance of a red cardinal is a visit from a loved one.

As I stated at the beginning, the appearance of a blue heron is a source of peace and comfort for us.

The blue heron became significant for us because of a story my son related after seeing one shortly after Chris died.

“It came from when Dad and I used to hunt in the woods behind the house. We had a talk about birds that you can shoot and ones you can’t, basically if they looked or sang pretty then let them be. We saw a heron and just watched it for a bit before it flew off croaking. He said “and don’t shoot those” even though they didn’t fit the rule.

We have seen blue herons at significant times in our lives- graduations, weddings, birthdays, tough days. Shortly after moving out of our home of 14 years and into my new home, I walked outside and thought a helicopter was about to crash over my head. I heard the “whoosh, thump, whoosh thump” of a granddaddy blue heron taking off from somewhere behind the house and coming overhead and across the street. I burst into tears.

Then there was the time my daughters and I were in Michigan for a soccer game. It was Meghan’s first game of the season following her dad’s death. I went for a walk along the riverfront at the hotel. I was taking pictures when a blue heron flew past me and landed along the shore. I was amazed because, at the time, I had no idea they even lived up there! It was such a gift to see him there.

Last weekend as we were running errands to prepare for P’s birthday party, a heron flew over the road.

Silly…maybe it is. A wild stretch…maybe it is. But, I will tell you that the appearance of a heron is always comforting to each of us. It’s not an everyday occurrence and when it happens there is a special significance to us.

The presence of a loved one can be revealed in other ways as well.

Visitation dreams from your loved one are powerful and very real. I remember the first one I had and it was so real. His conversation with me was so sweet and ended with a kiss on my forehead.

I have a dear friend who had a visitation dream from Chris in which he talked to her about watching our grandson,P. He said that P sees him but won’t remember it.

Being able to smell your loved one’s precious scent is comforting. I have a box of Chris’s clothes that I will occasionally open to hold and smell him again. While hugging my son one day, I could smell Chris so clearly. I held on a little too long and my son asked if I was okay. I told him he smelled just like his dad. His wife agreed that she could smell him occasionally as well. He doesn’t always smell like him, but it does happen occasionally.

Finding a penny, dime, feather or other significant small object tied to your loved one’s life on earth can make you catch your breath and think of your loved one.

Maybe these things can easily be explained away or simply called coincidences or giving meaning to something that occurs naturally. I get that, but we aren’t harming anyone. We are on a journey, the most difficult of our lives. Our faith is guiding us. If these events bring us comfort and peace, I ask that you allow us to experience without judging us as losing touch with reality. It’s actually helping us deal with the reality of a difficult loss.